021 Arete: book: The Power of TED (The Empowerment Dynamic)

POWER OF TED* (*THE EMPOWERMENT DYNAMIC): 10th Anniversary Edition: David Emerald, Obadinah Heavner, Robert Lanphear: 9780996871808: Amazon.com: Books

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The Power of TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic) PDF

PNTV: The Power of TED by David Emerald - YouTube (review by Brian Johnson)

The Power of TED by David Emerald - PhilosophersNotes | Optimize

Optimize Interview: The Power of TED* with David Emerald - YouTube

3 vital questions:

where is my focus:

problems or
outcomes

how am I relating: to others, to experiences, to myself

more drama or
empowering myself to take creative action

what actions am I taking:

reactive, or
generative, creative

Orientation is crucial

Victim or

DDT triangle: Dreaded Drama Triangle

victim,
prosecutor, (a person, a condition, a situation)
rescuer

focus on what we don't want, on problems
inner state of anxiety, fear
reactive actions (fight, flight, freeze)
this is the default human orientation, survival instinct

Creator

TED triangle: The Empowerment Dynamics:

creator,
challenger,
coach

focus on what we want, envisioned outcomes
what has a meaning for us
creative actions, passion, desire
start with baby steps in solving problems toward goals

people play different roles in different situations, both in DDT and TED triangles

important is to shift mindset DDT => TED

victim => creator:

what I want to create
I own my capacity to respond to life experiences, even when feel victimized
questions to ask:

why am I experiencing this
what can I learn here

the key for shift from victim to creator is to be able to ask and answer questions:
- "what do I want?" and
- "what are the choices here
chose to respond to what is happening in life

persecutor => challenger

challenges to improve and create, instead to react
be constructive challengers in our relationships with others
always ask yourself questions:

what do I want
what is my intention here" before challenging someone
what kind of question can I ask

conscious constructive challenger has learning, supportive intention (not to show off)
not to see others as "problems to fix", instead as "creators in their own right"

rescuer => coach

professional or trusted friend
clarify intended outcomes and current reality
rescuers often from good intention reinforce powerlessness of the victim
as a coach, we see the person we support as a creator, capable and resourceful
support by inquiry, asking questions:

what do you want
what is your current reality
what are possible options, choices,
baby steps to move to better outcome

Dynamic Tension
Example of rubber band as an illustration

What do I want (goal)
What is current reality (starting point)

what supports the goal
what is in the way, problems to solve

Resolving this tension (distance from start to goal) by

taking baby steps from current reality to desired goal
short term, the smallest thing I can do
every step can be

forward, good
backward, what can I learn from it?
breakthrough, you never know when it may happen if not taking baby steps

in every step evaluate

what do I want?
what did I got?
what is next?

Why baby steps rather then giant leaps?

High-achievers assumptions that need to
figure out all the steps to desired future outcome before taking action.
Detailed plans are often voided by unanticipated situations.
Spending all time planning steps rather than taking them.
Baby steps open up paths for breakthroughs or learning along the way
What can I do in next 30 days is much more powerful than what I can do in 5 years
Immediate actions inform subsequent actions,
Don't have to have it all figured out before we start

Quote: "It is impossible to invest your soul in a compromise"
There is always a tension between desired outcome and reality.
If we give in to this tension by reducing goal, we react from victim reality, compromising vision.
Part of discipline of being a creator is to allow ourselves to have big visions, that creates a meaning for our lives, and taking baby steps to make it closer to reality.

Fundamentals: