Home Escape the Drama Triangle with TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic)
The Power of TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic) PDF
PNTV: The Power of TED by David Emerald - YouTube (review by Brian Johnson)
The Power of TED by David Emerald - PhilosophersNotes | Optimize
- where is my focus:
- problems or
- outcomes
- how am I relating: to others, to experiences, to myself
- more drama or
- empowering myself to take creative action
- what actions am I taking:
- reactive, or
- generative, creative
Orientation is crucial
- Victim or
- DDT triangle: Dreaded Drama Triangle
- victim,
- prosecutor, (a person, a condition, a situation)
- rescuer
- focus on what we don't want, on problems
- inner state of anxiety, fear
- reactive actions (fight, flight, freeze)
- this is the default human orientation, survival instinct
- Creator
- TED triangle: The Empowerment Dynamics:
- creator,
- challenger,
- coach
- focus on what we want, envisioned outcomes
- what has a meaning for us
- creative actions, passion, desire
- start with baby steps in solving problems toward goals
people play different roles in different situations, both in DDT and TED triangles
important is to shift mindset DDT => TED
- victim => creator:
- what I want to create
- I own my capacity to respond to life experiences, even when feel victimized
- questions to ask:
- why am I experiencing this
- what can I learn here
- the key for shift from victim to creator is to be able to ask and answer questions:
- "what do I want?" and
- "what are the choices here
- chose to respond to what is happening in life
- persecutor => challenger
- challenges to improve and create, instead to react
- be constructive challengers in our relationships with others
- always ask yourself questions:
- what do I want
- what is my intention here" before challenging someone
- what kind of question can I ask
- conscious constructive challenger has learning, supportive intention (not to show off)
- not to see others as "problems to fix", instead as "creators in their own right"
- rescuer => coach
- professional or trusted friend
- clarify intended outcomes and current reality
- rescuers often from good intention reinforce powerlessness of the victim
- as a coach, we see the person we support as a creator, capable and resourceful
- support by inquiry, asking questions:
- what do you want
- what is your current reality
- what are possible options, choices,
baby steps to move to better outcome
Dynamic Tension
Example of rubber band as an illustration
- What do I want (goal)
- What is current reality (starting point)
- what supports the goal
- what is in the way, problems to solve
- Resolving this tension (distance from start to goal) by
- taking baby steps from current reality to desired goal
- short term, the smallest thing I can do
- every step can be
- forward, good
- backward, what can I learn from it?
- breakthrough, you never know when it may happen if not taking baby steps
- in every step evaluate
- what do I want?
- what did I got?
- what is next?
- High-achievers assumptions that need to
figure out all the steps to desired future outcome before taking action. - Detailed plans are often voided by unanticipated situations.
- Spending all time planning steps rather than taking them.
- Baby steps open up paths for breakthroughs or learning along the way
- What can I do in next 30 days is much more powerful than what I can do in 5 years
- Immediate actions inform subsequent actions,
- Don't have to have it all figured out before we start
Quote: "It is impossible to invest your soul in a compromise"
There is always a tension between desired outcome and reality.
If we give in to this tension by reducing goal, we react from victim reality, compromising vision.
Part of discipline of being a creator is to allow ourselves to have big visions, that creates a meaning for our lives, and taking baby steps to make it closer to reality.
Fundamentals:
David Emerald womeldorff - YouTube
There is always a tension between desired outcome and reality.
If we give in to this tension by reducing goal, we react from victim reality, compromising vision.
Part of discipline of being a creator is to allow ourselves to have big visions, that creates a meaning for our lives, and taking baby steps to make it closer to reality.
Fundamentals:
- being able to identify "where am I" (DDT or TED)
- and "what I really want" and what are choices
- no mater the situation we always have choices, and can choose choice
David Emerald womeldorff - YouTube
